MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD

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Day 6 of a liquid diet. Not out of choice.

I had all of my wisdom teeth removed and a week later I am still unable to eat anything solid, so I am reluctantly surviving on smoothies, soups and jelly. I expected to be in a certain amount of pain but I hadn’t really anticipated how a week on a restricted diet would affect my mood – I have been an absolute misery!

A combination of a sore mouth, a few unproductive days at home and a growling stomach have left me with low energy and, at times, feeling teary. I know that the cure is to rest, give myself time and let my body heal, however more than once my mind has gone straight to food as a solution. Not necessarily healing nutrient-rich food, but sugary, carby, baked treats. It takes a couple of seconds before my brain catches up with itself and I remember that part of the reason for feeling the way I do is that I cannot eat; therefore food as solution is ridiculous.

It got me thinking about my relationship with food.

Generally I don’t have, or ever have had, any issues with eating. I am not a fussy eater, I don’t have any known intolerances or allergies, nor do I eat loads of junk food. My diet is pretty balanced with the odd treat here and there. It is definitely healthier in Sydney than when I lived in London; my whole lifestyle is healthier now, so that makes sense.

But this week has highlighted what I have known for years. Whenever I am tired, stressed or just feeling a little low, my first instinct is to seek comfort in chocolate/cake/all the donuts. Classic emotional eating. Craving sugar to lift me up when I know that it is going to bring me straight back down the other side. It’s been interesting not being able to give into these cravings this week, I haven’t been able to fix my mood with sugar, so I have had to look for other means.

I’ve pulled out last years’ colouring book, painted my nails in the first time in months, sat in a sunny spot on the balcony and soaked up the vitamin D. I’m going to try to remember this resourcefulness as my body heals and I start to reintroduce proper food over the next few days. It feels like a reset button.

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